Qur'an Memorization
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Being nice to one’s wife

The messenger of Allah (PBUH ) adviced us to be kind to women and that he is the kindest to his wives among us. No doubt about that. History is clear on that. Men are either negligent towards their wives or excessive in dealing with them. Both actions will not give a good result.  I know of a salafi brother who was too hard on the wife. The wife eventually stopped offering 5 times daily prayer among other things. When I was approached by a concerned individual and informed about this, I decided to involve one of our mashaaikh here in lagos. The brother didn’t speak to me for a month. Now, the wife will put on her 3/4 hijab that stops at the knee, but sneak to attend church service around ayobo side in lagos. This from someone who caught her and another she confessed to! Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilehi rajioon.

Yesterday, a lady called me repeatedly. When I later picked the call, I realised she is the wife of a man that just started learning the arabic alphabet from me. She booked an appointment and later came to see me. The husband (after about 20 years of marriage) is forcing her to put on the full hijab with socks and gloves all of a sudden or she risk divorce or better still, him getting married to another woman. She told me that I should please tell him that she is not against him getting married but he should stop maltreating her and the kids because this is what he has been doing since he proposed getting a second wife. He even reduced their feeding allowance bc according to him, he has to save for the next marriage and also record/video their conversation on his phone. This she saw and deleted!

I posted a story a month ago about how I slept around 1 AM trying to settle a fight between a man and his wife. Remember, I said the man said so many unspeakable things about the wife. Well, he just bought a brand new car for that same wife he swore to divorce and beat black and blue! The woman told me herself and I went to congratulate her later at home. The man looked everywhere but avoided my face and that is probably because he was ashamed knowing fully well that I still remember all what he said and did to the wife that night or was it early morning?!

The wife also said she is trying and that is why she is now putting on the hijab that gets to the knee and she has never cheated on him ever! She was so frustrated that I began to see signs of hating islam and the sunnah from her utterances! She later said her house is in disarray and since I’m her husband’s mallam, I should come and do something. I got the message instantly. It is as if I’m the one teaching him all these.

The funny thing is that this is a brother that still keep a clean shave, match on his trousers and can’t even read the Qur’aan. I decided to call other Imams around me so as to pay him a visit. After speaking to him, he told one of us that the prophet also did all what he is doing to his wives too! Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilehi rajioon!

Reading the pranks that men are playing on women and on their wives from the posts of asaatidha like mallam Sanusi Lafiagi and others, I get scared most times for my daughters. I look at them and pray that when they get married, that time should be one of those times that Hudhayfah reported from the messenger of Allah that the affairs of the ummah will be set right!

I can only plead with brothers to be kind to women and learn what the shari’ah says about their rights and ours too and only then can we achieve success as husbands! الله المستعان

Musa Ibrahim-Katsina

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